Welcome to my blog;
Built with me in mind.

In order to save time, before my initial visits to the four therapists I’ve seen over the years, I brought in an Opening Statement, in the hope that he/she could essentially cut to the chase, fix whatever and get me on my way in, I was thinking, two or three visits. At the end of my first-ever session, the doctor said, “We’ll need more time.”

And here we have it.

Nevertheless, as a potential reader, you should know Where I Stand. As I attempt to do so—after years of sitting—I shall give you updates.

“Who am I? Why am I here?” – Ret. Vice Admiral James Stockdale (1923-2005)

Here’s what I have so far:
When I was four, all my friends were five. They all got to go to kindergarten. I did not, so I made up invisible/imaginary friends to talk to. My mistake was in telling my real friends about them.

I still talk to myself, often when I’m outside on my balcony (truly once sat upon by Rebecca DeMornay and Tom Cruise back in that day). I try to keep the lip movement to a minimum out there, because it is a second-floor balcony, so I can easily be seen by neighbors if not heard by passers-by below. It is a peaceful, residential street with a fair amount of foot traffic. Many dog owners and attractive women, often both.

I am optimistic about my own immediate future, but pessimistic about the future of the planet as a whole. I don’t know if George Bush is stupid or evil or both, but I believe underhandedness put him where he is today (both times, and probably in Texas too). I believe his mother is smart and evil, and that this is the most abominable administration in history. I believe that because of these abominable people, what Bob Costas says about major-league baseball now applies to the United States of America: “It’s not the game we grew up with.” I’m starting to give consideration to the crackpots who believe that all will end within the next 10 years. I’m just hoping to stay around long enough to see it (hence the plea for health insurance on the Home page).

I believe America’s fascination with celebrity is also contributing to the impending Apocalypse. But I do subscribe to Entertainment Weekly and often read more than half of it. Other than that, I am “too hip to care.” I will be 54 years old in September, and find great solace in the fact that Jack Benny was 56 when he made his TV-series debut.
I like the idea of The Golden Rule, but I don’t give money to every homeless person I see, and I’m not really inclined to take one in.

I believe in Al Gore, Michael Moore and Shirley MacLaine, even if they don’t believe in each other. I believe in Jon Stewart, Al Franken and the Dixie Chicks. And Toby Keith (it’s possible). I believe women are just about as crazy as you can get. But I believe men are worse. I believe in UFOs and that if I ever get to Stonehenge, it will be a personal Magical Mystery Tour.

These are a few of my favorite things:

Long ribbons of lonely two-lane blacktop in the desert
Long ribbons of lonely two-lane blacktop in the mountains
Long ribbons of lonelier graded-but-unpaved roads in the desert and mountains
Poker
Bull riding (as a fan)
Earth women
Cheap buffets
Nevada, which has all of the above
Blue states
Altered states
The fact I can stay up as late as I want, and eat ice cream if I choose

So, I’ve been out of work since January, writing some and enjoying unemployment. That’s now run out, and I’m running low on dough. Can’t wait to see what happens next. I sent a copy of the book to Oprah; she’ll probably call tomorrow.

Thank you for getting this far. Go now and write complimentary things and live your life well and check back here periodically and spread the word about this site and my book so I can eventually get health insurance.